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Re: Run, Little One
Hi Biffle! I like this. You use very good description. However, the -- at the end of every line were a bit off-putting. I think there might be some instances ...
Mar 5, 2010 -
Re: The box
Hi! I like your rhetorical questions in this poem, and the emotion in it. However I have a couple of suggestions - firstly, try splitting it up into seperate stanzas, ...
Mar 5, 2010 -
Re: my sister
Hello! This is interesting. There are bits I like and bits I don't, so let's have a look. Golden locks A little cliché. Grass green eyes, Better, more original. A ...
Mar 5, 2010 -
Re: BenFranks: Member of the Month for March 2010
Beeeeeeen :D
Mar 3, 2010 -
Re: Grammar
And Facebook... *Twitches* It annoys me. Some of the groups, and what people say, and the sheer determination to get every word wrong! Well, that's Facebook, not a writing site. ...
Mar 3, 2010 -
Re: more random poems
Hello! Welcome to YWS. Don't forget to review other people's work, and then you'll get more reviews too. :) I quite like these, particularly the first poem. It reminds me ...
Mar 2, 2010 -
Re: When The Sky cries... I don't know why
Hi! I like this but I have a few suggestions for re-wording. "I don’t know why The reason why it rains" I don't think you need to say why twice ...
Mar 2, 2010 -
Re: Lies
Hi! I really like this - it's very well written, good description, and it flowed very well. It also rhymed well and wasn't forced at all. Again and wind don't ...
Feb 28, 2010 -
Re: Welcome to Hell
Hi! I felt kind of bad for you because you don't have any reviews on this but I think it's mainly because it's so long. I would suggest maybe splitting ...
Feb 28, 2010 -
Re: Let's Burn ITV
Hey Ben! Sorta disagree that Britain makes the best comedies, I'm partial to a good American sitcom myself. ;) I think you should get rid of the ellipse at the ...
Feb 28, 2010 -
Re: Crumpets and Jam
This is really good. I'm not sure what relevance the first stanza has to the rest of the poem, though. I love the third stanza - it's so innocent and ...
Feb 28, 2010 -
Re: Here We Go Again
Critiquing lyrics is hard! I don't find this particularly original. It is relatable, which is what I look for in a song, but I think you could say what you ...
Feb 28, 2010 -
Re: Zenith
I adore this. The imagery and the words you choose to describe it with are really original and interesting. I love how every part is a snapshot of something different ...
Feb 28, 2010 -
Re: What Does Your Heart Beat For?
I like this but there are parts of it that I just don't understand and they seem a little unnecessary. Let's have a look: Everybody has a reason a reason ...
Feb 28, 2010 -
Re: Adverbs
I quite like this poem but I'm not sure what your point is. What exactly are you trying to say with this poem? I mean, I like the way it's ...
Feb 28, 2010
